24.3.11

9 to 5; EST

Untitled, 2001 (Ophelia) by Gregory Crewdson

So that is what I'll be analysing till 4. With Bournvita and leftover Peanut Butter fudge. Ironic that even with 97 academic papers down, none of them to my name. Discoveries like these make it worthwhile. Even now that they've stopped payment. Gross, really, being employed.

16.3.11

coir; not tussar

Existence as heap of unravelled twine. Locus? Described by trailing kitestring. Glass and grime make it impossible for compassionate bystander - waiving the impossibility of compassionate bystander - to pick up loose thread and ask that liberating Pourquoi story.

Meanwhile, roll along, diminishing in size, as if at mercy of a malign cosmic paw. Begin "I- and know not who. The inability to overcome solipsism, for one isn't even that far yet.

There it is. How Humans Came to be Undone.

6.3.11

another step to adieu

Changes in domicile primarily entail reestablishing boundaries. The cat, vicious and hostile, will have to be brought into fold. Offerings of fish and love have, so far, received nothing but hisses in return. The dogs - recalcitrant, somewhat bored - must be taught anew who’s Boss. The kitchen needs exploring, familiarising, before it can be - to borrow the tongue of the day - owned. The same with all other hearts of darkness: convenient carpet-corners hiding some evidence of mischief, the underside of beds, the loft.

There is much to be done - always reassuring, this, in the face of sightless, brutal yearning. Giving into leisure now can mean death by remorse. The terrible weight of unacknowledged knowing will kill if not ignored.

Experimenting with the dicey contents of fridge, giving walls fresh coat of yellow, making unnecessary coffee over the latest release in Satire - Fantasy. Otherwise called lifesavers.